the Landlady’s Prize Giving.
Over at Mr Croft’s place- I’m spending so much time there, I’m practically a Croft Groupie- I noticed he has a blog on The Scottish Style Awards, and well, imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, eh? So this is the Landlady’s Prize Giving List , awarded to her paying guests at the flat over the summer .
Best Neighbour Award- No contest here. This prize of a giant pack of teabags and a pint of full fat milk is gratefully and sincerely jointly awarded to Sandra, my own neighbour in Crawford St, and her mum Wilma. From keeping an eye on the place, and checking for open windows etc, to popping in with a jug of milk for a fly cuppa for me as I hurriedly strip beds, Wilma and Sandra have been neighbours beyond the call of duty. They have never complained at the steady stream of visitors, the noise , or even taking my washing in on one occasion. Thanks ,ladies, I owe you one!
Most unreasonable comment Most comments left in the visitors book were positive, or made perfectly reasonable suggestions about things I could provide to make their stay more comfortable. So this award- of a J- cloth and bottle of cream cleanser must go to the lady who complained that my cupboards were “grotty” ,pointing out that some crockery and cutlery was “not properly washed up”.
Aye right- in the two hours between one lot of guests leaving and the others arriving, I’ve really got time to check that people have washed up their cereal bowl nicely.
Anyway, you’ll be pleased to hear that Big Man was up till midnight the next week washing already clean crockery and wiping the inside of the cupboards..
Best Time Had In the Flat
This was a tricky one. Us creche ladies had a hilarious time this summer on our annual Bank holiday weekend, but in the end we were just pipped to the post by the ladies from Johnstone, who came down to do a sponsored cycle for charity. The howls of laughter we could hear when we popped round at nine to get the washing in, were matched only by the shrieks of mirth the next day as they all tried to get changed out of their cycling gear outside the flat. (The bemused new occupant seemed to be having a good time too, watching them !) Please come up to the podium to collect your jumbo pack of Tenas Ladies…
Tidiest Occupants- Most people left the flat nice and tidy, but the couple who cleaned the bath, tiles and taps so thoroughly that I stood in dumb admiration ,get this award of a DVD copy of “How Clean is your House”. It’s never looked as gleaming since..
Mucky Pups Award Despite trying very hard to leave the place clean and tidy, this award goes to Perfect Daughter and her chums, who left smears of orange bronzing powder in unexpected places. I’m still coming across them, a month later.. To you, girlies- a tub of Fake Bake is on it’s way.
Best Spam Enquiry- Well, I’ve had a few. Mostly they are from “newly ordained priests from Greece” who would apparently like to stay if I’ll send them my credit card details so that they can pay a deposit. Some start “Hello Dearly Beloved” and ask for money to help them through a crisis. But my all time favourite appeared in my in box just last week. Supposedly from Endemol, it asked for accommodation for “twenty finalists in the series “Deal or no Deal” ( because we are so handy for Shepherd’s Bush, aren’t we?) and suggested that they would be requiring “two double rooms with bunk beds”. I never knew the contestants lived in such squashed conditions, did you? I’d complain if it was me…
The “Marie Celeste” Book token- these renters must have been in an awful hurry to get a ferry, perhaps. They left loads of food and drink which was gratefully received by Big Man and myself.
The Frying Pan Award This is jointly awarded to the four August renters. Within this time period, I had to replace the frying pan twice. What did you do with it??!
Finally, some special awards which need no real explanation. There’s the “curly Black Hair Cup” -gee thanks, that was a nice thing to leave all over the bath… and the “lonesome sock prize”- if the owners of one large black sock, one sports sock and one lacy topped hold up would like to come forward? No? Well, they’re in my lost property box till New Year…
All prizes can be claimed by sending me your credit card details.. 
October 20th, 2009 at 3:50 pm
How did my lacy topped hold-up end up in Crawford Street? Could it be a sea-gull??
I don’t understand how you can be so generous with prises, LL, and still make a profit.
God Bless!
October 20th, 2009 at 6:49 pm
Well they’re tax deductable prizes, Barney, and since i’ve not done my books yet, I may not have made any profit at all. Only time will tell. I’ll post your hold up off poste haste!
I missed ya!! 
can’t believe we were so close and yet so far in Millport..I did my French Lieutenant’s woman pose on the pier…
October 20th, 2009 at 7:16 pm
Unbelievable, you take the prize for patience. I hope you do well having to go round and find some strange items. The curly hair one turns me off ugh. I hope you wear
long rubber gloves (to clean of course) When i was over I was tempted to drive over
to Millport, but it was too far and events changed things.
October 20th, 2009 at 8:50 pm
My Sovereign Lady,
I do beseach Your Highness, though such Presumption is ill-befitting from so Mean a Personage, that She shall yet receive great Profit from her Labours Lost in the aforesaid Street or Wynde called Crawford. That we, Her loyalle Subjects, may thus benefit to Rejoice in her Bounty and Gifts royall to her Humble People, by Seeing Her Prosper so in Estate and Writ by the Greate Numbers of Her Tenants. That also we May in due corse of Tyme tenderlly Proffer our Honest Devotions within the Cathederall of y said Myllporte or other such Playce as shall please her Majestie. And that her Benefice generous of y Hold-Uppe will in due tyme come to Grace her humble Subject on Shin or other Appurtenance, to the continued Glorie of Herself. And we doe most humbly Beseach Her Majestie not to Dwell long Houres on the Myllporte Pier as t’is well known unto the Populace of the Ill Humours and Windes that doe Wrack the same, Liable to bee Deleterious to the Health of Yr. Maj., not worth the Ryske for to Interoogate an Old Sea-hownd like unto yr. humble Subject.
PS. Your Queendome of Cardy is still there, though for a short Space of Tyme desecrated by a Churl descended from a Whirlybird one Morn. We had no Arms that might give Hyme due cause to desist. Andwe do humbly Beseach her Maj. to be Reyminded of the just Labours of Her humble Subject when the bloody Christmas Honours list is being worked over.
October 21st, 2009 at 9:49 am
It’s surprising that you get so many one-legged visitors, LL. The neighbours will be starting to talk
October 21st, 2009 at 10:34 am
October 21st, 2009 at 10:56 am
One leg is OK, Jill … if it’s the right one. Then it doesn’t feel left out.
October 21st, 2009 at 12:27 pm
A very thoughtful, and thought-provoking weblog posting by my favourite Land Laney on IB.
I think that maybe a bit more thought could be given to the actual prizes. No Brasso? No bottles of Bleach ( that kill 99% of all known germs, which could account for the “Grotty” cupboard, it being the 1% that NO Bleach can KILL) No Dis-infected? No Bacon Butty Award?
Although you need a catchy name for your awards, maybe the LAFTA’S purrhaps? Or you can borrow Cheery for a few days next year? A virtual breath of fresh air you are. Tws…
October 21st, 2009 at 1:28 pm
Right on, Barney
October 21st, 2009 at 6:32 pm
Well TWs, there were indeed some prizes that went unclaimed.. nobody turned up to collect the Domestos Best Skiddy Mark on Porcelain, funnily enough, and the Bacon Butty award goes to Big Man, every year,
Can I really borrow Cheery for a couple of days a year?? Thats awfy generous of you!
Jill, I am surprised at the number of one legged visitors I’ve had, and also the visually challenged ones who obviously were unable to see the spills of wine/tea/juice on the carpet!!!
m’socks- I could tell you lots more but am afraid it might result in me being sued… But I’m having trouble holding my tongue on one matter.. oooh its killing me…
October 21st, 2009 at 8:09 pm
Cut loose, LL, and spill the beans … I bet they’re dirty ones! We will all come and visit you in jail, electronically of course.
October 22nd, 2009 at 12:14 am
October 22nd, 2009 at 11:28 am
Oh come on, LL. You can spill the beans without naming names. We’d all love to hear about the X family and Mr Y…
October 22nd, 2009 at 10:14 pm
ah wummin oh your substansheeal substance should surley be able to speak in code, shirley, sorry LL. OOOher, burrfday honours time. Should wan buy a hat one wonders.
October 23rd, 2009 at 8:05 am
Please tell us LL–my mind just
s
October 23rd, 2009 at 9:03 am
October 23rd, 2009 at 7:40 pm
October 23rd, 2009 at 7:45 pm
October 23rd, 2009 at 7:50 pm
October 24th, 2009 at 12:47 am
I think women are better at that stuff, they are not squeamish like us men.
October 24th, 2009 at 2:19 am
That, Harry,is called “GIRL POWER”
October 24th, 2009 at 8:37 am
October 24th, 2009 at 2:15 pm
eww..now thats the sort of situation where you wished you had kept those wooden tong jobbies fae the auld twin tub, if youll pardon the pun
October 24th, 2009 at 3:02 pm
I thought I would be called a Chauvenistic P-g I’m glad you ladies agree with me, I
know my wife does all the iffy stuff.
October 24th, 2009 at 7:00 pm
October 26th, 2009 at 4:14 am
You know something LL I think you are older than me. Talking about the 2 tubs.
We had two tubs and I was the one workindg the wringer and my mum fed the clothes throughth from one sink into wringer into the other. I’ll quit noo as Ive had a few scotchies. its 12 here and I feeeel goood.
October 26th, 2009 at 10:46 am
Oh Harry D, you have blotted your copybook (perhaps not for the first time). ANY reference to the age of ANY woman - and especially if that woman is ROYALTY - is just terrible! Scotch or no scotch. But as we know you from your previous entries to be a person of irreprochable antecedents (try saying that after a big scotch) I will intercede with Her Maj on your behalf.
Her Maj - have mercy on your loyal subject Harry D who was caught driving a computer while under the influence of drink. Pugwash, Capt.
October 26th, 2009 at 1:17 pm
October 26th, 2009 at 3:32 pm
Mmmm - rena lammkött as we say over here. Nice and tender!
October 26th, 2009 at 7:20 pm
My daughter is the same age as youLL. I am in the doghouse just now as I fell asleep at the Computer controls last night after my wee drams
though I have just made my better half a wee cup o tea and a sandwich so things are looking up. 
Thanks for the good word Barney.
my daughter is 50 in January and does not want it mentioned
October 26th, 2009 at 8:21 pm
ha ha harry, I bet you made a pretty sight snoozing over the computer. That’s good you are doing some serious sooking up to your better half. If you’re looking to get into my good books, Darling, I take my tea nice and strong with skimmed milk, and I like a cheese sandwich best of all.
October 26th, 2009 at 8:26 pm
October 26th, 2009 at 10:31 pm
That’s OK, harry, we old fogies need to support each other or we’ll all fall down. specially after a dram or two. Which gives me an idea.
By the way we would all appreciate a picture of you in the doghouse ….. please!
October 26th, 2009 at 11:31 pm
I’m not biting on that one Barney
October 27th, 2009 at 7:57 am
I have!!
October 31st, 2009 at 12:17 am
Oooooooooo yer Supreme Maj of The Bedhead gusset is my very favouritest word in all the dictionaries in all the world. Blimey this Aqvavit’s strong stuff Cap’n P *hic* (and also *haec* and *hoc* I may ad)
November 1st, 2009 at 8:28 pm
Funny, I disremember writing that…
I always make a point of commenting on your other bloglandlady dear. Purrhaps others may follow. Form an orderly queue youse buggers. A-right a-left a-right a- left a…
November 2nd, 2009 at 9:30 pm
Yes, I have my loyal following in otherblogland, and I do hope that posting on the two meets with everybody’s approval. Also that I won’t be thrown out and told never to darken the door again ,if I direct a few souls that are wandering around the wordcupboard, trying to find a way out, over to my otherbogland?
November 3rd, 2009 at 1:08 am
November 3rd, 2009 at 12:10 pm
November 3rd, 2009 at 5:17 pm
Amply being the word!
Otherbogland would be a very good title for a blog…
November 3rd, 2009 at 9:13 pm
Now I am really old and doddery
just re-read her maj’s comment about her other bog 
sorry blog,trust KC to have me right as usual 
November 10th, 2009 at 12:49 pm
Have you seen my very new blogg about Millport & Rothesay Academy at http://johnsbryden.wordpress.com/. I also have a Rhonehouse/ Bridge of Dee connection having lived in Rhonehouse for 2 1/2 years in the forties and then moved to Millport
For the autmn of 1947 I cycled down to Bridge of Dee each weekdaymorning, hid my byke and bussed into Kircudbright Academy. Please make contact “Musings from Millport”
November 13th, 2009 at 9:27 pm
Oh that’s amazing!! You were actually in Rhonehouse before my mum and dad bought the pottery in B of D, then- please get in contact via my email- jen.boyle@lycos.com, so we can chat! I’d be really interested to hear more, I went to the Academy myself, although(ahem) it was in the seventies.I’ll be checking out your blog too. Thanks for getting in touch!